Chapter Nine

JD stood on the porch in front of the sheriff's office, his hand hovered above the doorknob. He had wandered out to the edge of town after leaving the bathhouse, trying to gather his thoughts and calm the panic that had seized him earlier. He closed his eyes remembering the dark bruise on Buck's back and the slow trickle of blood across the back of his leg where Nathan had stuck him with his knife. Buck hadn't felt it, hadn't even flinched when he should have been yelling like a stuck hog. His fault, he knew. He had only sought to silence Buck's incessant teasing and wipe the smug grin off the older man's face. Buck was his best friend. He hadn't meant any harm.

He turned at the sound of a door opening down the street, and saw Chris step out of the bathhouse carrying Buck's gun belt and spurs. Larabee paused in the doorway, a dark figure silhouetted against the eerie orange glow of the watch fires. He made a quick scan of the street. JD felt those hard green eyes come to rest on him for a second. Then, with a dismissive turn of his head, he stepped aside as Nathan and Josiah maneuvered through the doorway carrying Buck between them, Nathan on the right and Josiah on his left. Buck's arms were across their shoulders and each man had one of his long legs hooked over a forearm. As JD watched, they slowly made their way down the boardwalk toward the alley that lead to the backdoor of the boarding house.

Vin appeared last, pulling the bathhouse door closed behind him. He paused, scanning the street, as Larabee had a moment earlier. The tracker let his gaze rest on JD for a moment, then turned and headed in the direction of the saloon.

JD tried to swallow the lump that had risen into his throat when Tanner crossed the street and disappeared through the swinging doors. He released the breath he hadn't realized he was holding and reached again for the doorknob.

Ezra looked up as the door opened. His left hand reached for the Remington in its shoulder holster under his coat, but stopped with it half-drawn when he recognized JD.

"Well, it is about time somebody saw fit to deliver me from this unbearable task," he sighed, letting the gun slide back into it's holster. "The inmates have been rather vocal about missing their evening repast." He had been playing endless games of solitaire while waiting for someone to relieve him of jail duty. He gathered the cards up with a sweep of his left hand and tucked the deck into his sling.

JD ignored the gambler's complaint and walked past to stand in front of the cellblock, staring at the prisoners inside. In the first cell, one of the rustlers was asleep on the bunk. The other sat on the floor in the corner, listening. The lone inhabitant of the other cell, Ezra's assailant, approached the bars.

"Hey, -sheriff-, when are we gonna get some grub around here?" He demanded. He had succeeded in annoying Ezra most of the evening, much to his satisfaction. The young sheriff stood staring at him with his hands in his pockets. "What are you starin' at boy?" He sneered.

JD ignored him and turned back to face Ezra.

Ezra opened his mouth to complain further about being left to guard prisoners that didn't really need guarding when he saw JD's face clearly for the first time. The younger man stood with his hands in his pockets his shoulders hunched and tight, looking like a man who had lost his best friend. Then Ezra remembered the scene earlier in the day: Chris and Vin dragging an obviously injured Buck toward the bathhouse. That and JD's posture suddenly caused him to be concerned for Wilmington's health.

"How does our fallen comrade fair this evening?" He asked watching JD who stood hands in pockets, staring down at the floor.

JD looked up to find that Ezra was staring at him. The gambler's face was unreadable as usual. "Huh?"

Ezra tried again. "How is Buck? Was he badly injured?"

JD stared at him, then opened his mouth to answer. "I, uh..." At that moment both men turned as Vin Tanner pushed through the door. In one hand swung a covered pot, and in the other, a small bundle tied in a large napkin.

"Evenin' fellas," he said, nodding as he greeted the two men. "Brought some vittles for the prisoners. Got some here for you too, JD."

When JD opened his mouth to say that he wasn't hungry, Vin interrupted him.
"Naw, ya gotta eat. Chris's orders. He says he wants ya ta take Buck's watch tonight. Can't have ya goin' empty an' fallin' asleep."

Ezra looked from one man to the other. "What dire fate has befallen Mr.Wilmington?" He addressed the question to Vin this time.

Vin looked over at JD. "He had a little accident. Nathan's takin' care of him." He set the pot and bundle down on the desktop. "Your welcome to stay an' eat with us if ya want, Ezra, there's plenty here."

Ezra eyed the covered pot dubiously. His sensitive nostrils detected the aroma of Inez's chili con carne. Inez was a good cook; but his stomach protested at the thought of an evening of indigestion caused by too many hot chili peppers.

"Thank you, no, Vin. I plan to stop by the hotel dining room for a nice thick steak. After that, I will repair to my table at the saloon, where per chance I may find someone willing to partake in a game of poker." He picked up his hat, placed it on his head, and touched the fingers of his left hand to the brim in a salute. "Gentlemen." He grinned broadly; flashing his gold tooth as the door swung shut behind him.

Vin winked at JD. "That got 'im. Now let's git these prisoners fed."

The bundled napkin contained a stack of warm tortillas. While Vin ladled the chili onto the plates, JD placed a couple of them onto each plate and handed them to the prisoners. As he handed the plate through the bars to the prisoner who had been complaining earlier, the man shoved the plate back him. "I ain't eatin' this Mex rotgut," he snarled.

"Eat it, or starve. I don't care. That's all you're getting," JD growled. The prisoner stared at the kid a moment, then accepted the plate back without another word. He went over to his bunk and sat down.

Vin stood back, watching. He sighed and shook his head wondering if JD realized how much he sounded like Buck just then.


Chapter Ten

They dished up their plates and poured coffee. Vin pulled a chair up to the desk and tucked into his plate of chili, tearing off pieces of tortilla and using it to scoop up the spicy stew. JD sat in his chair behind the desk pushing chili around on his plate. Normally, the kid would have been on his second helping by now.

Vin wiped his plate with a piece of tortilla and popped it into his mouth. Chewing thoughtfully, he sat back and watched the kid pick at his food.

"Chili ain't no good when it's gone cold. Ya better git ta eatin'," he said as he lifted his coffee cup to his lips. He studied JD over the rim. "Yer worried about Buck." It was a statement, not a question. The kid had learned a lot since he'd been with them, but his wide hazel eyes still betrayed his thoughts when his emotions were high.

JD sighed and shoved his plate away. He looked up at Vin. "Hell, Vin, shouldn't I be?" He had removed his hat when they had sat down to eat. He put his elbows on the desk and raked the fingers of both hands though his straight black hair. "I heard what Nathan said, that Buck don't have feeling in his leg. He's hurt and it's all my fault."

Vin set the coffee cup down next to his empty plate and leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees. "Starvin' yourself ain't gonna help Buck. Ya can't just go mopin' around an' wallerin' in your guilt." Vin watched JD's face looking for some sign that he was getting through to him.

JD sighed and closed his eyes. "If I could just..." he began, but Vin interrupted him again.

"JD, ya can't take back what happened this mornin'. It's done. The only time ya have control of is now--this minute." He tapped his finger on the desktop for emphasis. "If ya go 'round wishin' for what can't happen, you'll never git anywhere." He sat back in his chair again, watching JD.

JD pushed his chair back and stood up. He turned toward the window and stared through it "But, Vin, he can't feel his leg!"

Vin sighed watching JD pace back and forth. "JD, let Nathan take care of Buck. He's a right smart feller. He'll figure out what to do." He picked up his coffee cup and took another sip, grimacing at the bitter taste. He set the cup back down on the desk. "Seems ya ought ta put a little blame on the man who put that bullet in his back."

JD spun away from the window to look at Vin "What?" Vin didn't think it possible, but the kid's face went a couple shades whiter. Then he remembered that JD hadn't been there during that part of the discussion.

"Don't know the right of it yet, maybe never will, but I'm guessin' ol' Bucklin done something real stupid when he was younger. Got shot in the back an' been carrying a bullet around since." Vin watched as JD tried to digest this bit of information. "From the way Chris an' Buck were talkin, this ain't the first time there's been a problem." Chris hadn't actually said, but Vin knew without a doubt that Chris had been through a similar situation with Buck before. "Now if ya want to put the blame somewhere, blame Buck for bein' stupid, or that feller shootin' him in the back. Then ya can blame yourself for your part in it."

JD sat down at the desk again, staring at the desktop for several long minutes. "He'll probably never speak to me again, you know," he said without looking up.

Vin took one last sip of coffee and almost choked on it when a laugh bubbled up from his chest. "An' that's a bad thing? He chuckled. "Hell, if he don't, you'll have done us all a big favor. Lord knows we could all use the quiet.."

The corners of JD's mouth twitched slightly, "Thanks, Vin."

Vin stretched his legs out in front of him and settled back into the chair. "Anytime, kid," He nodded approvingly as JD reached for the plate of chili and began to eat.


Chapter Eleven

Chris hovered in the doorway to Buck's room while Nathan and Josiah settled Buck onto the bed. All three men let out a collective groan, although for different reasons. Buck stretched out on his stomach; eyes squeezed shut and jaw muscles working as he stifled another groan. Chris watched as Josiah started working Buck's boots off his feet, while Nathan eased his arms out of the shirt. Satisfied that Buck was being taken care of, he turned to go.

"Hold on there a minute Chris." Nathan stopped him before he closed the door..

"What?" He stepped back as Nathan came out and closed the door behind him.

Nathan stepped out into the dimly lit hallway. "Can ya stick around a while? I may need your help."

Chris looked up at the healer, impatience evident in the set of his shoulders. "With what? I don't know nothin' about doctorin'. Besides, Buck's a big boy, he don't need me holdin' his hand."

"I know that, Chris. I just need ya to stay and talk to him. Distract him like ya done in the bathhouse. He ain't gonna let me give him no laudanum and I can't give him nothin' else right now."

Chris looked up into Nathan's dark, earnest face. His expression softening slightly, "Yeah, he's always been that way. We saw a lot of men get hooked on that stuff during the war."

Nathan nodded in agreement glancing down at his hands. He had seen it too. Men's lives ruined by addiction to the opium-based painkiller. The image of Colonel Anderson, reeling on his horse and bleeding from four gunshot wounds was still fresh in his mind.

His attention turned back to Chris, who shifted restlessly. The man was clearly uneasy and that surprised Nathan. He had never known Chris to be squeamish. The gunslinger's face was partially hidden by the flat brim of his black hat; but Nathan could see that his mouth was drawn into a thin line. His dark clothes blended into the shadows of the hall so that when he looked up at Nathan his pale face stood out in stark contrast. "He gonna be all right?" He asked, tipping his head toward Buck's room.

Nathan took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he considered Chris's question, unsure how to answer. "I don't know, Chris," he answered, finally. "I ain't never seen nothin' like this before."

Chris sighed, and nodded, "All right. What do you want me to do?"

"First, I need ya to get me a bucket of hot water and a bucket of ice chips." Chris nodded and took a couple steps toward the door where he stopped and turned back, "What's the ice for?"

"I'll git to that later. Right now, I gotta go get some things from my room. Meet me back here as soon as ya can."

Chris turned and started for the door. As he opened it, he heard Nathan tell Josiah he'd be right back and then healer's foot steps as he followed him out.

Buck lay on the bed wanting nothing more than to roll over on his back, stretch out and allow his cramping muscles to relax. The painful swelling on his lower back prevented that so he tried to be still while Josiah worked his shirt off the rest of the way.

Josiah laid the shirt aside and gazed down at Buck. "Nathan's gonna want them pants off too, Buck."

"Figures," Buck sighed. He hitched himself up on to his side slightly to undo the buttons, wincing when the movement twisted his back. He started to peel back the high-waisted trousers, silently thanking Chris for bringing his cotton drawers to wear underneath. He was tired of being naked and now that the sun had gone down, there was chill in the air. He swore under his breath when he found that he couldn't move to get them past his hips.

Josiah had been standing by the side of the bed, his eyes roaming around the room to give Buck a little space. He looked down at him now, caught between the desire to help and the urge to laugh. What Buck was going through wasn't funny, he reminded himself. Knowing the stubborn man wouldn't ask for help, he decided to offer it. "Here, brother, let me help you."

Buck glared up at him a moment, then closed his eyes. "All right." He groaned and grasped the high waist of his underwear. Josiah pulled the trousers off, leaving him dressed only in his long underwear and socks. He saw stars when Josiah accidentally jerked his right leg and the pain in his back jolted up his spine and slammed into the back of his head.

Josiah looked up when he heard Buck gasp. "Sorry about that, brother," he said softly. "Are ya all right?"

Buck blinked away the dark spots and released the breath he was holding. "Yeah." He brought his right hand back up to shoulder level and let it rest on the mattress palm down a few inches from his face. He heard the scrape of a chair being pulled across the floor and opened his eyes.

Josiah eased himself down on the chair beside the bed and rested his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped between them. "Getting' worse?" He asked, his deeply lined forehead and deep set blue eyes revealing his concern.

"Didn't think it could get any worse." Buck admitted. Worry showing plainly on his face. He shivered and clenched his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering. Josiah reached over and pulled the blanket up over his shoulders. "Thanks."

Josiah's full lips stretched into a half-smile, "Any time, brother." He took a deep breath, "You know he didn't mean anything by it," watching Buck's face. Buck and JD had become close friends over the past several months since the fight in the Seminole village and Josiah was concerned for that friendship.

Buck knew who Josiah was referring to and his dark blue eyes hardened, "Damn fool kid!" Anger, he forgot was there, spilled into his voice. "It's a damn good thing Vin took my gun this mornin'. He coulda got himself shot." He paused to take a breath. "Kid must have a death wish!" He growled. "And I get the feelin' it's my death he's wishin' for."

"Now Buck, you know how it is--kids think they're indestructible. We both know what it's like, ya feel like you're bullet-proof."

"Ha! He's gonna learn soon enough that ain't true." Buck's short bark of laughter held no humor.

Josiah shrugged, "Reckon he will soon enough," he agreed.

Buck was quiet for several minutes; his eyes focused on the hand a few inches from his face. He curled his fingers to form a fist, then let them relax again. "So you're sayin' I oughta just let it go?"

Josiah reached up and rubbed an eyebrow with a long forefinger. "The Bible says be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32) He watched Buck's face for his reaction.

Buck's dark brows drew together. "Would you call what he done this mornin', kind or tenderhearted?" He asked, a bitter edge to his voice.

Josiah sat back in the chair, tipped his head back and drew in a deep breath.. "No, I don't reckon I would," he sighed. "But I do know for a fact he regrets it."

Buck didn't answer. He lifted his head and rested his forehead on the mattress trying to straighten the kink out of his neck. Damn. As if a dead leg wasn't bad enough, now he was getting a stiff neck too.

Josiah rubbed at the back of his neck with a weary hand and leaned forward again, elbows on knees. He fixed Buck with an ice-blue stare. "Don't suppose you ever done something you needed forgiveness for." It was a statement, not a question.

Buck kneaded the back of his neck with his right hand, then crossed his arms and rested his forehead on them. "More times than I care to remember." His words floated up to Josiah, muffled as they were against the sheet. Old grief settled on his heart, remembering a night just three years ago when he had talked Chris into staying one more night in Mexico. His selfishness had cost Chris his wife and son. Chris had said to let it go; but he couldn't. Couldn't stop thinking about it. He thought about it every time he saw Chris's black clothes, every time Chris went on a drinking binge for no reason anyone else could fathom. He knew the reason and it was his fault.

Josiah waited. The only sounds in the room were the scrape of Josiah's boots against the floor and the creaking of the chair as he shifted his weight. Buck had come to him for advice many times in the past months and Josiah knew that Buck was thinking about what he had said. He just prayed that Buck would do the right thing.


Chapter Twelve

Both men looked up when they heard footsteps in the hall. Nathan pushed through carrying his pack in one hand and a kerosene lantern in the other.

"Sorry I took so long, fellas." Nathan's trained eye evaluated the injured man's condition. He was gray; worry and constant pain were taking their toll. "How ya doin', Buck?"

"Ain't run off yet," Buck replied grumpily. He was tired of being asked how he was doing, tired of talking about JD, tired of hurtin'. Hell, he was just plain tired.

Nathan rested his hand on Josiah's shoulder, "Josiah, would you do me a favor and go git the table from JD's room?" He paused looking around the room. He would need more light. "And bring the lamp from there too, I'm gonna need more light," he added.

Josiah nodded. "Sure thing, Nathan," he said amiably, as he pushed himself up out of the chair.

Nathan laid his pack down on the table and walked around to the foot of the bed. Pulling the blanket up, he uncovered Buck's feet, and removed his socks..

Glancing up at Buck, he removed a needle from his shirt pocket. Buck didn't react when the needle pierced his right foot. The healer shook his head, and moved to the left foot.

Buck tried to look over his shoulder to see what Nathan was doing and swore when he felt the needle prick the sole of his left foot. "Ow! Damn it Nathan, I ain't no damn pin cushion!"

Nathan drew the blanket back down over Buck's feet again and sat down in the chair Josiah had vacated. "Sorry 'bout that, Buck. Had to see if the paralysis had spread." He leaned forward, elbows on knees and met Buck's scowl head on. "I been studyin' on it and I think I know what's happenin' to ya."

The scowl eased somewhat. Buck looked up into Nathan's face hoping for reassurance; but what he saw in the healer's eyes filled him with dread. "What?"

Nathan looked down at his clasped hands, trying to organize his thoughts. "When you hit your back, you started bleedin' inside. Ridin' all day like ya done caused pressure to build up. I'm thinkin' that it's pressin' on a nerve in your back. That'd be why ya can't feel nothin' in your leg." He paused and ran his tongue across his lips, waiting for the question he could see in Buck's eyes.

Buck closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "Is it gonna be permanent?" He asked finally.

Nathan took a deep breath, "I don't know for sure yet, but if I can relieve the pressure on the nerve, there's a good chance you'll get your leg back."

"What are ya gonna do?" Buck studied Nathan's face.

"I'm gonna hafta open it up." Nathan hesitated. There was something more and he knew how Buck react.

Buck noticed the healer's hesitation. "What else?"

"The only thing I can give ya for pain is laudanum."

"No. I ain't takin' any of that stuff. Never have. Never will." Buck's refusal was absolute.

Nathan sighed. "I knew you would feel that way, but I had to ask."

"I know." Buck replied.

Nathan stood up as Josiah came back in carrying the table and lamp from JD's room. He helped the former preacher arrange the tables and lamps. He was acutely aware of Buck's eyes following his every movement as he laid his tools and bottles out on the table. Where the hell was Chris?

He was just about to send Josiah out to look him, when the door opened. Chris came in carrying a bucket in each hand and a bottle of whiskey stuffed into his coat pocket.

"Sorry I'm late. Inez wouldn't let me have the ice until I told her what I needed it for." Chris set the buckets down, pulled the bottle out of his coat pocket, and set it on the table. Fishing around in his other pocket, he pulled out four shot glasses.

"What did you tell the fair lady, Chris?" Josiah asked, knowing how stingy Inez could be with her precious supply of ice.

The lean gunman's eyes sparkled with mischief and his lips quirked up at the corners. He looked Buck in the eye. "Told her I was gonna dump it down Buck's pants." There weren't many women in the world who were immune to Buck's overwhelming charm, but Inez Recillos had turned out to be one of them. Chris rarely passed up the opportunity to tease his old friend about it.

"That's real funny, Chris." Buck grumbled. "I'm surprised she didn't help ya carry the bucket."

Chris started to pour whiskey into the glasses.

"Oh, she wanted to come and watch, but I told her it was a private party." The slight smile stretched into a grin as Buck's scowl deepened.

Nathan eyed the level of amber liquid in the whiskey bottle with a raised eyebrow and noted that it wasn't completely full. He accepted the glass Chris handed him and drank it down, inhaling sharply as the whiskey burned a path to his stomach. He handed the glass back to Chris, watching with apprehension as Buck stretched out his own glass for a refill. Whiskey, frequently used as a painkiller, was also known to thin the blood. He had hesitated to suggest it as an alternative to laudanum for that reason. Chris was watching him, silently asking permission. Maybe letting him get a little drunk would help things. He met Chris's gaze and nodded.

Josiah poured some of the hot water into the basin on the table and Nathan washed his hands, drying them on a towel. "Light that lantern Josiah, and stand on the other side of the bed there." Josiah did as he was told. He glanced up at Chris. The gunslinger stood near the head of the bed, nervously tapping the fingers of his right hand against his leg, eyeing the nearly empty bottle of whiskey.


Chapter Thirteen

Chris removed his hat and hung it on the peg beside the door. Leaning his shoulder against the wall near the head of the bed, he watched as Nathan and Josiah got things ready. He knew what Nathan wanted him to do, but didn't quite know how to go about it. It had been easy this afternoon in the bathhouse.. He hadn't known then how serious things were. Now that he knew, his gut twisted into knots.

Buck lay still as Nathan drew the blanket down revealing the livid swelling there. Chris winced to see it, dark against the pale skin visible just above the waistband of his long underwear. He swallowed hard and looked away, uncomfortable.

Nathan glanced up at the gunslinger leaning against the wall watching him, waiting. Chris returned his gaze, his face unreadable, but Nathan sensed his uneasiness and decided to help things along. He asked the question that had been on his mind since he had discovered the scar on Buck's back. "Hey, Buck.. How'd ya come ta git shot in the back, anyway? I never known you to turn tail and run from a fight."

Buck glanced up at Chris, "Friendly fire. Got shot during the war." He flinched as Nathan swabbed the swollen area with carbolic acid. Goosebumps stood out on his arms and shoulders. Damn that stuff was cold.

"That ain't no war wound." Chris admitted reluctantly. Josiah had told him once about confession being good for the soul. The truth would most likely come out eventually, might as well be now. He crossed his arms and turned so both shoulders touched the wall.

Buck was still watching him. "Didn't say what kind of war, did I?"

Nathan and Josiah grinned at each other. They were enjoying this way too much, Chris thought, wryly. Buck had left him a way out; but he didn't take it.

"He was playing a hoax on a fella and the bastard shot him in the ass." Putting a twist on the truth knowing Buck would rise to the bait.

Buck scowled at him a moment. It was an old argument, one they had repeatedly through the years, over countless bottles of whiskey. It surprised him a little that they were having it now, here, in front of Nathan and Josiah. He had tried to change the subject so they wouldn't have to go down this road, but Chris hadn't backed off it. Instead, he had thrown a twist into the truth and Buck just couldn't leave it be.

"-I- was playin' a hoax? If I remember right, -ol' pard-, it was all your idea." Buck's voice rose slightly, "And he didn't shoot me in the ass, he shot me in the back!"

"Well, alright, it was my idea;" Chris admitted, grudgingly, "but you didn't have to go along with it."

"Well, I was drunk at the time," Buck said, resting his chin on his folded arms. "Come to think of it, so were you."

"Yeah, I was," Chris conceded. "But if you woulda listened to me and roped the thing from the back, instead of the front, you wouldn't have got shot in the first place!"

"You said he was unarmed!" Buck was still dumfounded, even after twelve years Chris, who was supposed to be the brains of their partnership, could be mistaken about something as important as that.

"I said I didn't see no gun! How was I supposed to know he had a gun in there? Who in their right mind, keeps a gun in an outhouse?" Mock outrage covered over the guilt he still felt about something Buck had forgiven him a long time ago.

While Chris and Buck argued, Nathan was checking Buck's pulse and getting his instruments ready. He grinned at Josiah who stood on the other side of the bed holding the lantern. Josiah grinned back at him, shaking his head. He hoped he would get to hear the rest of the story some day. The bits and pieces of it sure sounded interesting.

The argument and the whiskey had the desired effect on Buck. He had begun to relax instead of tensing up and flinching every time Nathan touched him.

When he was finally ready, Nathan sat down on the chair and picked up the ice pack he had made out of a towel and ice from the bucket. "Hold on there Buck, this is gonna be real cold." He laid the ice pack over the top of the bruise.

Buck's head jerked up off the mattress when the ice touched his bare skin and he saw stars. "Shit! That's cold," he gasped.

"Sorry 'bout that, Buck, ice will help numb the skin so you won't feel the cut. Ya want somethin' to bite on?"

Buck had put his forehead back down on his arms, his muffled voice barely audible. "No. I'm all right."

"Now Buck, you're gonna hafta hold real still, ya hear me?"

"Yeah, I hear ya." He braced himself the best he could, but the ice was making him shiver again.

Nathan had his instruments laid out on a towel on the nightstand. Picking up the short bladed surgical knife, he glanced up at Josiah standing on the other side of the bed and nodded. Josiah reached down and lifted the ice pack away.

Buck took a deep breath and held it when he felt Josiah lift the ice pack. The knife was sharp, and though Nathan's first cut was quick and sure, the second went deeper into muscle. He bit down on the groan as it rose out of his chest. Shoulders straining, he took another breath and held it. Nathan laid the knife down and picked up a towel, wiping at the dark blood as it trickled across the pale skin.

Nathan laid the towel down around the wound in a semi circle and pressed gently, but firmly, from both sides. Buck made a strangled sound that was half grunt, half scream turned inward as the breath he had been holding exploded out of his lungs, and he suddenly went limp.

Chris, who had been leaning back against the wall watching, shoved himself away from it and stood with fists clenched looking from Nathan to Josiah.

Keeping the lantern steady in one hand, Josiah calmly bent over and pressed two fingers of his other hand to the side of Buck's neck feeling for a pulse.. After a moment he looked up at Nathan and nodded.

Relieved that Buck hadn't died on him, Nathan let go the breath he had been holding and began to wipe away the large clot he had forced out through the cut. He suddenly froze when his fingers encountered something hard in the middle of it.

"Lord, God almighty!" His hushed voice filled with wonder when he realized what he held in his fingers.

Chris stepped forward to look down over Nathan's shoulder. The healer's dark face bore a puzzled expression as he held up a grayish object in his bloody fingers. Chris couldn't tell what it was at first until Nathan swished it around in the basin of water to wash it off.

Nathan looked up at Josiah whose eyebrows had risen nearly to his hairline, then over his shoulder at Chris, an astonished grin on his face. He handed the object to Chris. "It's a bullet!"

Chris rolled the lump of metal around in his fingers. It was the right shape and weight. One side was flattened and it was covered with a slick transparent coating. He scratched at it with his fingernail. "I'll be damned!"

Nathan began to clean and pack the cut. He glanced up as Chris passed the bullet to Josiah, "I seen somethin' like that durin' the war with shrapnel wounds. The body forces the metal out over time. Never seen it happen with a bullet before," he said, shaking his head. "What's he been doing for the past ten years?" Gesturing with his chin at Buck as he placed another ice pack over the wound.

Chris gazed at the healer, a wry grin spreading across his lips. "Oh, nothin' much. Just getting' drunk, fightin', getting' thrown off horses, falling off porch roofs, makin' love to women and dodgin' irate boyfriends." The grin faded after a moment. "Nathan, is he gonna be okay?" His voice flat, holding back emotions he fought to keep suppressed.

Nathan finished wiping his hands and dropped the bloody towel on the table. "I think so, but I won't know for sure until the swellin' goes down," he said honestly. "Should know in a day or two."

Chris nodded as he reached up, ran a hand through his reddish hair, and sighed. It had been a long day. He stood staring down at Buck for several minutes, then reached for his hat. "I think I'm gonna go. You need anything?"

"Naw, thanks, I'll have Josiah bring me over somethin' afterwhile." Nathan pulled the blanket up over Buck's still unconscious form and looked up at Chris. "I'll be stayin' here tonight in case he needs anythin'."

Chris nodded again. "Thanks, Nathan." Then he was out the door and gone.

Nathan watched the door swing closed. He looked over at Josiah and shook his head. The former preacher shrugged and smiled. Somehow the thought of Chris Larabee, solemn, brooding, reticent leader of the seven, as a practical joker mystified them both.

They set to work putting the furniture back into place. Nathan checked on Buck and began to stow his surgical instruments in his pack. He looked up suddenly spoke Josiah's thoughts, "Now, there's a story I'd like to hear someday.."

Josiah grinned back at him, "Amen, brother!"


Chapter Fourteen

JD stood in the hallway in front of Buck's door. It had been two days since he'd watched Nathan and Josiah carry Buck from the bathhouse. He hadn't seen Buck since and the temptation to walk on past gripped him again. He had just come off the second straight night of patrol when Chris had stopped him and told him Buck wanted to see him. It hadn't been what he said, but the way he had said it. 'Have you been to see Buck?' Chris had known the answer to that particular question before he'd asked--that JD had not been to see Buck and had been hoping to avoid that particular situation for another day. The hard set to Chris's jaw had started JD's stomach churning nervously. The older man hadn't said another word. He just stood glaring at him a moment then stepped around him and headed for the saloon. Nathan had done much the same thing when JD had asked him how Buck was doing. The healer had gazed at him a moment then told him that he should go ask Buck that question. JD had felt about one inch tall. They were right. He would have to face Buck eventually.. Better to do it now. As he approached the door he could hear voices coming through it. Buck had company. He steeled himself and rapped on the door. A woman's laugh floated through it. A high pitched girlish sound.

He let go of the knob as if it was suddenly too hot to touch and backed away a step staring at the door. He felt the blush creeping up his neck and into his face.

Buck's voice drifted through the door, "C'mon in."

JD swallowed hard, dreading this confrontation. He took a deep breath and blew it out. "Better get this over with," he whispered to himself.

He approached the door and opened it a crack, "Buck, Chris said you wanted to see me." He couldn't see into the room, but he heard the woman giggle once more and nearly backed off again.

"C'mon in, kid. Lily was just leavin'." There the hint of a smile in his voice, and JD's anxiety eased a little. He pushed the door all the way open, removing his hat as he stepped into the room. Buck lay on his left side facing the door with the blanket pulled up under his arm. He wore a white, long sleeved cotton undershirt that made his dark growth of beard stand out in contrast. Lily, one of the saloon girls, was perched on the edge of the bed cradling a coffee cup in her hand. Buck said something to her that was too soft for JD to hear and she giggled again and slapped him playfully on the arm. She placed the cup back on the tray then leaned over and kissed Buck on the lips.

"You behave now, sugar. I'll be back later," she said lightly, laying her fingers against Buck's stubbled cheek in a caress far too intimate for JD's comfort.

"Don't you worry darlin', I'll be good as gold," he said softly, favoring her with a warm smile. "Thank ya kindly for bringin' me my breakfast."

Lily gathered up the breakfast tray, smiled at JD, and bustled out of the room pulling the door closed behind her.

Buck watched JD fidget for several minutes with mixed emotions. He was angry with the kid for what he had done to him and disappointed that JD hadn't been to see him before now. When Chris had asked him this morning if JD had been to see him yet, it had suddenly occurred to Buck that he missed him. He felt a certain amount of satisfaction watching as JD stood in the center of the room nervously twisting the curled brim of his hat. The kid looked as miserable as a chipmunk in a cat's mouth.

"Have a seat, kid." Buck said, waving JD toward the chair against the far wall, breaking the curtain of silence that lay between them. "And stop worrying the brim of that hat! It's ugly enough as it is," he added. There was a hint of that old teasing tone in his voice and the tension eased a bit.

JD pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down, looking everywhere but at Buck, nervously turning his hat over and over in his restless hands. Buck reached out, snatched the bowler from his hands, and dropped it on the nightstand with an impatient thump. JD flinched as though he'd been slapped. He could feel the color rise in his cheeks again and was powerless to stop it. He looked up at Buck for the first time since he'd come in and swallowed hard at the anger he saw in the older man's face.

"Chris tells me you been takin' my patrols." Buck's soft voice cut through the silence like a shout. "Been takin' care of my horse too." His expression softened slightly, "Much obliged."

Silence dropped back into place between them as Buck waited for JD to say something but the kid just looked down at his hands clasped between his knees. He raised his head and met Buck's gaze. "Figured it was the least I could do," he said finally.

Buck remained silent, waiting for JD to continue. The kid looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders and he figured it was time to let him unload it. He remained silent waiting for JD to continue.

JD took a deep breath, "Buck, I'm sorry for doing what I did to you. I wouldn't have done it if I'd known anyone would get hurt." The words came tumbling out in a torrent of regret. "And I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to ride with me anymore."

There it was. The question Buck had been asking himself over and over in the past couple days. Buck closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose between a thumb and forefinger. His head ached, and though the numbness was receding from his right leg, it left behind a deep gnawing ache that stretched from hip to heel. The constant pain wore him out and made it hard to concentrate. He took a deep breath and tried to clear his thoughts.

"Son, out here a man needs to know he can trust the man he's ridin' with. He's gotta know that his partner will be there to watch his back." He opened his eyes and pinned JD to the chair. There was iron beneath the velvet of that voice. "Not worryin' about his partner playin' dirty tricks on him while he's sleepin' or when his back is turned. You understand me?"

JD met his gaze with wide hazel eyes. "Yes," he said simply. He shifted nervously in the chair and waited for Buck to continue.

Buck watched him for several long minutes. When he finally spoke, his voice was husky with emotion that hadn't been there a moment before.

"You are damn lucky you didn't get yourself killed the other day. You came this close twice." He held his thumb and forefinger half an inch from each other for emphasis. "I could have shot you dead before I knew who you were if Vin hadn't taken my gun." He had to stop to clear his throat. "I wouldn't have been able to live with that."

He paused to run his tongue over lips suddenly gone dry.

"When I saw you down under that horse, all I could think of was that horse was gonna get up and pound you to death on the rocks." He pushed himself up slightly, reached for a glass of water on the nightstand, and took a sip before he continued. "You're my friend JD," he paused again. "I was scared I was gonna lose ya--that you were gonna die because I was gonna be too late or because I couldn't get down off my horse to help ya."

JD thought about that for a moment. It had never occurred to him that Buck would still feel that way after what he'd done. He hung his head and contemplated his hands clasped tightly between his knees. He thought about what Buck had just said: You -are- my friend. Not you -were- my friend. Relief washed over him as he realized what it meant. Then he remembered something he'd forgotten. He looked back up at the older man then; "I never did thank you for saving my life."

Buck regarded him a moment. He started to say that no thanks were needed; but changed his mind. "You could thank me by getting yourself a different horse. One that's a little older and more trail savvy." He raised his hand when JD opened his mouth to protest. "Now, I'm not sayin' that colt of yours isn't a good horse. I'm sayin' that he's green. You need a horse with experience who isn't gonna go to pieces on you when something sudden happens."

Just like me, JD thought.

Buck watched the kid's expression go from offended to penitent. "You were daydreamin' again, weren't ya. Got all worked up at me and weren't watchin' the trail."

JD drew in a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. "How did you know?"

"Know what? That you were bein' a fool?" Buck smiled for the first time since JD had walked in.

"Not just that," he conceded. "How did you know that I was in trouble?"

"Heard the horse scream." The smile vanished as Buck remembered the sound that had nearly stopped his heart.

JD frowned. "How could you hear it from where you were?"

"JD, it sounded damn near loud enough to carry all the way back to town." Buck had a couple days to think about it. How had he heard it from where he was? He'd thought that JD had spoiled the hunt; but Chris and Vin both said they hadn't heard anything. "I talked to Josiah about it yesterday," he continued, "He thinks you got some kinda guardian angel watchin' over ya." Though he tried to sound skeptical, Buck wasn't at all sure that wasn't true. Lord knows the kid needed one.

JD thought about that for a moment. Guardian angels? Maybe. He'd never thought of that.

Buck slowly eased himself onto his back with a groan. "Hand me that pillow, would ya?" JD retrieved the pillow that lay on the rolled up blankets Nathan had been using as a bed.

"Thanks," he said, after JD had helped him get it arranged under his knees. He lay on his back holding his breath and biting the inside of his lips as he waited for the spasms to ease.

JD watched as Buck waited for the pain to become bearable. Guilt welled up in him again as he realized the extent of what he'd put his friend through.

"How's the leg?" He asked, when Buck finally opened his eyes and looked at him.

Buck sighed out the breath he'd been holding and looked over at JD. The expression on the kid's face nearly broke his heart. The hurt and anger that had occupied him for the past three days vanished. "Ain't numb anymore, but hurts like bloody hell."

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, meaning it more than he ever had in his life. "I know y'are kid. I'll be all right." He knew he would be. It was just a matter of waiting for things to heal. "Been hurt worse."

JD began to relax. They seemed to have reverted into that familiar easy companionship they'd had before Buck had gotten hurt. He suddenly felt, for the first time in days, that everything would be all right.

"Vin said you had a bullet in your back."

"Oh, he did, did he? Buck eyed JD, a trace of surprise in his voice, but his eyes twinkled slightly. "What else did he have to say?"

"That you musta done something stupid when you were younger and that Chris knows about it." JD waited for Buck's explosion; but it didn't come.

That surprised Buck even more. He didn't remember a whole lot of what was said in the bathhouse, but he knew the tracker had ears like a bat and a capacity for understanding things that had not been said. He also never knew anyone, including himself who could read Chris like Vin could. He reached over and picked something up off the bedside table, "Here," he said, extending his hand.

JD held out his hand and Buck dropped something into it. It was a misshapen piece of metal. JD turned it over in his fingers. It hardly resembled what it obviously was-a bullet. He looked up at Buck, a puzzled look on his face. "Is this what I think it is?"

"Sure is kid. Been carrying that around in my back for nearly ten years." He looked at the kid sitting in the chair next to him. The question he didn't want to answer as clear on the kid's face as if he'd spoken it.

He lay on his back staring at the ceiling trying to ignore the ache in his body and the row of stitches he could feel poking into his back.

"Got caught playin' a hoax on a fella and he shot me in the back," he said, not admitting Chris's part in it. That they had both gotten drunk and gone after a man seeking to harass him because he thought he was so much better than they were. That it was the father of a girl Chris was courtin'. That it had been Chris's idea and Chris had put him up to it; because the old man didn't want Chris hangin' around his little girl and had run him off with a shotgun.

He looked over at JD. "Ya see, kid. It may seem like fun when ya first think of it, but when it goes wrong it can be a livin' hell."

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. "Come in."

The door opened to admit Lily carrying a large kettle of steaming water in one hand and a stack of clean towels in the other. "Howdy, Buck honey." Thought you might be wantin' a shave this mornin'." She winked at JD who blushed clear to his hairline. "Might make ya feel a little better."

"Thank you kindly Miss Lily, that does sound nice." He said, rubbing a hand across the three day growth of beard. He looked over at JD and grinned. "Yep.. There's nothin' like the comfort of a woman when a man's feelin' poorly."

JD picked up his hat off the nightstand. "Guess I'll be goin' now. Gotta get some sleep." He stepped up closer to the bed and stuck out his hand.

"So, are we still partners?" He asked, not ready to believe that things would be able to go back to the way they had been.

Buck looked up at him, sensing his uncertainty. His eyes narrowed on JD a moment. "No more dirty tricks?"

"No more dirty tricks." JD repeated, suddenly worried that things weren't settled after all.

Buck raised his hand to reach across and grab JD's "All right." He nodded.

Relief flooded JD's face and he grinned as they clasped hands.

It really was going to be all right.


Chapter Fifteen - Epilogue

Buck limped heavily as he made his way down the alley to the main street. It still felt like he had a hot poker sticking in his back; but he knew it wouldn't get better unless he got moving. Nearly a week had passed since he'd been hurt and it felt good to be outside again.

There were few people on the street when he reached the end of the alley. He turned in the direction of the saloon and nearly ran into Nathan standing in his path just inches away with his hands on his hips, dark eyes blazing.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Buck let go of the butt of his Colt and placed his hand over his racing heart. "Damn it Nathan! You just don't do that to a man! You coulda give me a heart attack, or got yourself shot."

Nathan drew himself up to his full six foot four inches. "You ain't wearin' that gun," he said, jabbing a finger at the gun belt Buck had looped over his left shoulder. The healer was a gentle man by nature, but a formidable opponent when crossed and Buck wasn't feeling up to a wrestling match.

Buck tried grinning at the irate healer. "You're right, Doc, I ain't wearin' it. I'm carryin' it." His grin faded into a scowl when he realized that charm wasn't going to work on Nathan Jackson. "Hell, Nathan, I might as well go naked if I can't carry a gun."

Nathan's dark face instantly split into a wide grin. "You already done that," he chuckled. However, the grin turned to a look of concern when Buck shifted his weight to step up onto the boardwalk and nearly fell. The healer's left hand snaked out and caught him by the elbow to keep him from falling. "You sure you're all right, Buck?"

"Hell, yes I'm all right," he hissed, jerking his arm out of Nathan's grasp. Damn that hurt. His leg was still weak and threatened to fold up on him every other step; but he wasn't about to admit that to Nathan or anyone else. "My foot's still tinglin' is all."

He scowled at Nathan, who dropped his chin to his chest in defeat. "All right, Buck. Promise me you'll take it easy for a while."

Buck eyed him for a moment then his face split into a grin that told Nathan that he would do what ever he damn pleased and there was nothing that he, Nathan, was going to be able to do about it. "Sure Doc, whatever you say."

Nathan shook his head and chuckled again, then fell into step beside Buck as they headed for the saloon. His hand hovered near Buck's elbow and he watched the lanky gunman out of the corner of his eye until they reached the saloon.

Three heads turned in their direction as the pushed through the swinging doors. Josiah reached over and pulled out the chair next to Chris. Buck eased down into it with a soft groan. "Thanks Josiah."

Inez came around the bar with the coffeepot and filled Buck's cup. "How are you this morning, Señor Buck?"

Buck poured every ounce of his considerable charm into his voice as he grinned up at her. "Fit as a fiddle and ready for love, darlin'."

She leaned back with her free hand on her hip and smiled pleasantly. "Not in this lifetime, señor." Gesturing with the hot coffeepot as though she would dump it in his lap.

"Now hold on there, darlin', that ain't the kind of heaven I had in mind," he said holding his hands up in defeat. He didn't think she'd be cold blooded enough to dump that hot pot of coffee on him, but he didn't want to take any chances.

Vin chuckled as he pushed himself away from the table so Nathan could sit down. "You'd best give it up, Bucklin. She ain't never gonna give in." He held his cup out so Inez could refill it, then went to lean against the wall by the door.

"Yeah, I guess you're right, Vin." Truth be told, Buck wasn't really feeling up to that kind of wrestlin' match either. He tried to look disappointed.

Inez turned back to Buck, "What would you like for breakfast, senor?"

He scowled up at her. "Well, since there ain't nothin' new under the sun, I reckon I'll have the usual." Inez nodded and disappeared through the kitchen door.

He looked around the empty saloon. "Anyone seen JD this mornin'?"

"Saw him leadin' his horse toward the livery a while ago." Josiah rumbled as he lifted his coffee cup. "Should be along directly."

Nathan smiled thanks to Inez as she set his plate of bacon and eggs down in front of him. "I notice Ezra ain't up yet."

Vin gazed over the top of the swinging doors and answered Nathan's question without taking his eyes off the street. "Naw, Inez said he was up 'til after midnight fleecin' a couple cowboys out of a month's wages. Don't reckon we'll see him up and about 'til about noon," he said, over the rim of his cup.

Chris had continued to eat in silence, ignoring the conversation. Buck leaned toward him and whispered. "Did ya get it?"

Without looking up from his plate, Chris reached into his left coat pocket and pulled out a small box. Buck took it from him without looking at it, concealing it under the table just as Vin announced JD's approach.

The kid pushed through the swinging doors and nodded at the older men seated around the table. "Mornin' fellas."

Josiah stood up from the table to give JD the seat next to Buck and walked over the bar to refill his cup. He leaned back against the bar listening.

"Anythin' happen last night, JD?" Vin asked as the kid settled himself into the chair.

JD smiled up at Inez as she filled his cup, then looked over at Vin, leaning against the wall few feet away. "Nothin' movin' out there but sagebrush and coyotes," he sighed. He looked over at Buck. "How're you doin', Buck?"

"Just fine, kid," he growled. He picked up his knife and fork as Inez served him his steak and eggs.

"You don't look fine." JD sensed an air of tension in the room as he looked around at the faces of the other men.

Vin's soft gravelly voice drifted over from the doorway. "Don't mind him JD. He's just poutin' 'cause Inez didn't miss him as much as he missed her."

"Oh, that's real funny, Tanner," Buck groused. "You oughta think about joining one of them travelin' minstrel shows so's other folks can listen to your jokes."

Breakfast continued at a leisurely pace. The six men traded friendly insults and town gossip. Chris pushed his empty plate away and sat back with his cup. When JD finished his breakfast, pushed back his chair and announced that he was headed to bed for a couple hours' sleep, Buck stopped him with a hand on the arm of his chair. "Hold on there JD," he said reaching under the table. "I got somethin' for ya." He laid the box on the table and slid it toward JD across the top of the table.

Vin pushed away from the wall and took a step closer. He and Chris had taken the rustlers they'd picked up last week in to Ridge City the day before. While he had been at the sheriff's office delivering the prisoners, Chris had disappeared down the street. Vin had found him later coming out of the general store stuffing that box into his coat pocket. He'd been curious about it ever since. He looked over at Chris, who met his gaze with an imperceptible shake of his head. The air was pregnant with anticipation.

JD took the box Buck pushed at him across the tabletop. "What's this?"

Buck grinned at him, "Just a little token of my appreciation." JD looked at him with a puzzled frown. "For takin' care of my horse while I been laid up," he added.

JD slid the lid off the box. Inside, wrapped in a soft cloth was a spyglass similar to Vin's. "Buck, this is really great! Thanks." His eyes were wide with wonder as he pulled the telescoping sections out and turned it over. "When did you have time to get this?"

Buck cleared his throat and sat back in his chair gingerly. "I had someone pick it up for me. Go ahead, kid, try it out," he said eagerly, trying to keep a straight face He shot Chris a warning look out of the corner of his eye

JD eagerly put the eyepiece of the glass up to his eye and scanned the room. He pulled it way and looked at Buck, his face beaming. "Wow, Buck this is really nice. Thanks! Thanks a lot!"

Vin turned his head and bit his lips to keep from laughing. When JD had pulled the glass away, it had left behind a perfect black ring around his eye. Chris had been watching from across the table. His poker face split into a grin when he glanced up at Vin and saw the look on the tracker's face. His grin turned into a chuckle, which burst in to a full-blown belly laugh, as JD looked on, clearly puzzled as to what was so funny.

JD glared at Buck, who was struggling to keep from laughing. "Buck! What did you do?" He glanced around the room at the other men who had already lost the battle.

Buck tried to put on a look of wounded innocence. "Who me? I didn't do nothin'," he said, as he too lost the struggle. "Ow, don't make me laugh, kid," he gasped, holding his hand to his back.

JD stood up from the table and looked at his reflection in the mirror over the bar. He reached up and wiped at the black ring of kohl around his eye, smearing it across his cheek. He turned on Buck his cheeks flaming red, his lips twitching at the corners. "I thought we agreed, no more dirty tricks?"

Buck gasped and wiped at his streaming face with his coat sleeve. "Well, maybe just this once," he wheezed, as JD's face broke into a grin and the sound of his laughter joined the others.

The end